The Shockers came out strong today against Cricket Wireless and crushed them 20 to 8.  The Shockers had 20 runs on 19 hits.  Three of the runs that Cricket had were because of shortstop Marc Sears having two errors back to back, which was out right disgusting.  Sears walked around the shortstop area with his head down in shame after making the two errors until he thought about Jeff "Shit Slow" Cislo getting picked off at first by a right handed pitcher.  The move to first was so bad and slow, Cislo took himself out of the game and had Jim Kelly play third the rest of the game.  Shit Slow said, "I could have sworn that the pitchers eyes were closed and he wasn't looking at me, so I ran.  Once I got in the run down, I realized that I was a tool and I tried to lay down flat in the base line to look more like a tool and hopefully someone would trip over me."  Manager Marc Sears explained Shit Slow, "If it isn't Borat he is thinking about it's a room full of naked Koreans, which is the real reason why he laid down in the base path.  He wanted to get mounted! Don't let him fool you."

     Steve Jay pitched great! Jay certainly didn't get any help from his shorstop or his right fielder Ryan Wenke.  Wenke was under a ball and decided to put his palm to the ground as the ball was coming back up to him.  He literally looked like a ballerina while he was holding his erection down.  Although Wenke's wife was sitting in the wife section of the stadium and she was certainly very vocal with great impressions trying to taunt the other team.

     The Shockers seemed to be having a lot of fun while they were playing Cricket.  Both teams were laughing through out the game.  When Rarog got on the hill he was certainly reaching back and throwing like his old stuff.  Catcher Dominic Marziano said, "They told me that they were scared, so I kept telling Rarog to throw more fast balls.  I wanted him to hit one of those little bastards after Gonzo got hit but Rarog thought that we would start and international incident."  Rarog was asked about his closing performance and he just shrugged and stated, "I come out when I can to help the team and if I do good, great, if not I really don't give a shit so get your microphone out of my face before I shove it up your ass."  Sears had to come over and grab Rarog from the field.

     Wenke had a blow out day at the plate and came out of his slump with a double and a base hit.  Everyone on the bench was telling him to load quicker.  It appeared that Wenke did not know what they were talking about and when he was asked if he did he said, "I thought they were saying blow your load quicker.  I was like what kind of team is this?  I'm just happy that I broke out of my slump even if this team is a bunch of Bukaki wankers.

     The game began to get a little uneventful because the Shockers were kicking ass and centerfielder James Giordano and right fielder Mike Walsh made it known.  The two of them were having a conversation in the outfield about how F'd up their relationships were with their ex's and where they were filing motions.  Sears said, "Those two should just swap Ex's and see what happens, at least they would know that there would be a good stepfather in the picture when they are not with their kids."

     The Shockers are having a lot of fun this year and are really clicking.  Steve Jay is doing a hell of a job on the hill and they are all hitting great, except for Enrique V (still has a BA .000) .  "I'm sure he will come around.  Maybe he will a little quicker if he gets a mean bone in his body."  Shit Slow over heard the quote and interrupted and yelled with a lisp, "I want a mean BONE in my body please, I like mean Bones!"

     The Shockers face the Bombers at Green Mtn. High School on 6/29 at 9:00am.  Come and watch!!!!